Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I'm sick. As in, ill. I feel terrible. I'm so BORED! I have nothing to do and hence..nothing to blog about. I shall copy Jiahui and post a list of annoying stuff to do :D
ANNOYING STUFF TO DO AT THE BOWLING ALLEY
Pray to the pins and insist that everyone else should do the same.
Wear golf shoes.
Every time you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU JERKS!" Continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a government conspiracy.
Explain to the owner how your game is "All sorts of messed up" due to plate tectonics.
Demand compensation.
Make lewd and graphic references to your "ball".
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about plate tectonics again.
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tongues, then sit down as if nothing happened
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins, stick your head up laughing hysterically
Use a curling weight instead of a bowling ball
Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted
Root for the other team - bring banners.
Make fun of your team - bring eggs and other vegetables
Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments.
Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STRIIIIIIKE!!
Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
Rent all the lanes, don't bowl.
Blatently underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating.
When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball and run home.
If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs and blame plate tectonics.
Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone.
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
Superglue police whistles to the hand-dryers. Leave town.
Walk around asking people why they are here. Do this the whole night.
Name your ball something like "KILLER". Openly boast to everyone how great you are, throw like a wimp, do this all night
Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
Run around sprinkling "magic fairy dust" on everyone's balls.
Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night. Don't even have a entrance Fee, advertise it like crazy using every mass media known to man, make the 3rd Prize $10,000 and a Porsche, the 2nd Prize $5,000 and a trip to Europe and 1st Prize a coffee mug. Then sit back and watch the fights. Then, leave.
ANNNOYING THINGS TO DO DURING A JOB INTERVIEW
While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match
Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.
Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust
In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."
As you follow your interviewer to his or her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh uncontrollably.
Show up in your jogging outfit, run in place during the entire interview
Bathroom excuse #1: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, as you walk out the door make a loud fart noise with your mouth then sigh and say, "DARN!"
Bathroom excuse #2: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, come back with the entire front of your pants wet.
Ask for a company Porsche
Comment on how much you like your interviewer’s spouse’s picture, then take it and put it in your briefcase
Some time during the interview slip some chiclets in your mouth, then sneeze as loud as you can launching entire contents in your mouth in his or her face, cover your mouth and say, "I sink I loth by theeth."
As you reach inside your briefcase pull out a sock puppet, introduce him as "Socko" and harass your interviewer with it.
During the interview reach over and grab at your interviewer’s face and say, "Got your nose" while clenching your fist, demand that you get hired or you won’t give back their nose.
Chew tobacco, spit in pencil holder.
Announce that you are committing a hostile take over of the company, fire your interviewer.